My girls start school in exactly one week. (Yes, we're the last to start in the nation, thanks to the ridiculous Kings Dominion Law.) E starts full-day preschool, and while I'm a nervous wreck, she's as excited as can be. Not that I'm surprised; at two years old she ran into her preschool classroom without even pausing to say goodbye.
A is a totally different story. She is scheduled to start preschool two mornings a week, but at the moment I can barely leave her with family. Her separation anxiety has escalated this summer, leaving me to wonder if I'll spend the next year with her firmly attached to my leg.
Here's what we're doing to try to prepare her:
Talking often about school.
So far, no good. E and I continually tell her all the fun things she'll get to do at school: books, games, play-dough, dress-up, painting, etc. Her response? "No."
Llama Llama Misses Mama
by Anna Dewdney
A loves this book and it's perfect for her age and situation. Llama goes to preschool for the first time. The teacher and classmates try to get Llama to join in the different fun activities, but Llama cries that he "misses Mama!" Eventually, school wins him over and he realizes that he can love school and Mama, too.It's cute, predictable, and gets the point across. A loves saying "mama came back!" and that's the point I'm trying to drill into her brain.
A paper chain.
Now that we're a week away, we're going to make an old-fashioned countdown paper chain to help her (hopefully eagerly) anticipate the start of school.
What else?
What else can I be doing? Deborah Stewart recommended The No Cry Separation Anxiety Solution
. Anyone else read that book? Are there other tips you'd recommend? As I mentioned before, E is a very independent child, so separation anxiety is a not a problem I have previous experience with. It may be that A is simply not ready for school, but I'd rather not declare defeat until I've exhausted all other possibilities.
Awww- your poor baby! I have one of those too- once she gets in the mix of her preschool class, she'll be fine because she'll know that her mama will always be back for her...
ReplyDeleteOh, it's so hard to be a mom sometimes. My boys both cried hysterically the first time I left them at preschool. I think it was harder on me than them. My daughter, however, could not wait to go - she is my independent one, and I think it helped that she watched her brothers going off to school.
ReplyDeleteHave you read The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn? That is a great picture book for dealing with separation anxiety and it actually provides a solution in the story. I recommend it!
I have to tell you that school here doesn't start until August 9th! I guess that makes us the last in the nation!!!! It's crazy. My boys didn't get out of school until the end of June this year.
I just realized that I wrote August 9th, I meant September 9th!
ReplyDeleteI hope A is ok her first day! It will be difficult for both of you but hopefully she will start to love preschool early on.
ReplyDeleteThis is no doubt a stupid question, but what's a 'countdown paper chain'? Apart from a paper chain one presumably somehow uses to count down? Maybe a regional difference, but I've never seen one.
ReplyDeleteI'll keep an eye out for Llama Llama Misses Mama. Though in our house a more useful title might be Laddy Laddy Misses Daddy. :)
Oh, what a sad little face! She'll probably be fine once she's in the swing of things. Of course, the homeschool mom in me is screaming - Keep her home, she's only a toddler! But don't worry about that, the homeschool mom in me sceams a lot of crazy things - I'm really sure you'll both do great :)
ReplyDeleteI didn't put my daughter into preschool with my daughter until she was three. She was ready at that time. I'm not sure what kind of response my 2yo son would have if I enrolled him this year. I think that if we visited the preschool a few times together and let him play with the toys while I stayed, he'd probably eventually transition without any trouble. Will they let you go to school with her the first few times? I really don't have any other ideas.
ReplyDeleteOops...I clearly didn't edit that last comment. I also wanted to mention that perhaps it's best to focus on back-to-school books that don't include characters that have anxiety about school. Just a thought. As well meaning as they may be, sometimes kids reverse the message. One of my friends read a book where a character put something up his nose, and even though the book had a strong message about not putting things up your nose, guess what her 2yo did...put a pea up his nose the next day!
ReplyDeleteOur schools don't start until after Labor Day here too... mostly because we do have a large farming community and the MN Resorts would lose A LOT of business if we did not. That and the state fair goes through labor day... all really educationally sound reasons! : )
ReplyDeleteOh, that's so hard (on both of you!) I'm not sure exactly how verbal she is, but have you tried acknowledging her feelings and asking her to explain what her worries are (e.g. it seems like you're feeling a little bit scared about starting school. Sometimes I get scared when I have to try new things too. What seems most scary about school?) If you can pinpoint the particular cause of the anxiety you might be able to address it more directly. Some other things that I've found can help include role playing with puppets (have the puppets practice things like meeting a new friend, sharing, even the drop off/pickup routine etc.), and meeting with other kids in the class in advance. She might feel better if she has a buddy/familiar face to sit with on the first day. If possible, it might also be helpful to drop by the school and meet the teacher in advance. I really hope it goes well!
ReplyDeleteGet this: in NYC school starts on Sept 8th for a half-day, then there is a 4-day weekend before school resumes on Monday. It's insane.
ReplyDeleteWe read Llama Llama to ER last year before she started preschool and I thought she'd have all sorts of issues. Well she happily ran off to school without a backward glance, which kinda made ME a little sad. She's lways been such a clingy child, a little look back would've been nice.
ReplyDeleteMy son doesn't start until Sept 8, even though most other preschools already started, and public school started a few weeks ago!
ReplyDeleteHope the first day goes well for your kids! We've been reading that Llama book too. It's one of our favorites, and I know it is just perfect for the first day of school.
My oldest had seperation problems until she was around 3, then it just clicked for some reason. We did the kissing hand book, too- love that one! Another fun thing I did on the first day/week of school was to make a fun little "i love you" pin for her to wear on her shirt. I just put 3 pony beads in her favorite colors on a safety pin and pinned it to her shirt where she could see it. I told her the first bead meant "i" the second "love" and the third "you". It helped her remember mommy was thinking of her, and feel that she had a bit of mommy with her while she learned to transition to her new preschool class. I'm not saying she didn't cry, because she did, but it did help, and made the transition time shorter/eaiser. Good luck, mama!
ReplyDeletePoor baby--Juliet is still not quite sold on the school idea, but every time she goes, she likes it more and more. Hopefully, A will decide it's fun!
ReplyDeletePerhaps showing her a book full of crafty things like she does at home might help influence her. Maybe even a key or something of yours for her to keep in her pocket or a little locket with your picture in it to wear on school days would help too? I know allllllll about sensitive kids and separation anxiety having been that very child myself.
ReplyDeleteI think staying calm is the best solution for this problem. We had a lot of initial resistance initially, but I think it's mostly related to a fear of unknown rather than to separation anxiety. It took about 1 week for Anna to get used to her preschool when she went there shortly before she turned 3, and then she was quite OK. Good luck, and I hope that Earl will not ruin your start.
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